Some Like It
by The Rockerbabe
Summary: AU Timeline, During Moving On. We all know that Jude and Ryland got married, but what happened to make her decided to take the plunge?
1. Hot

Disclaimer: Instant Star doesn't belong to me

Author's Note: This takes place during the "Moving On" Timeline

Some like it…

Part I: Hot

If you haven't heard about me, let me catch you up. My name is Jude Harrison. I'm seven-teen years old. And I am the Instant Star. One year ago, I won the Instant Star contest and was launched to fame. I've had my share of controversy, love, heartbreak, wins, and losses in a very short span. But some good things have happened in my life…I met a fellow rock star named Ryland Michaels…and fell in love. He and I have been dating for…almost a year now and I am in love with him. But…

I still can't get another guy out of my head…Little Tommy Q (or Tom Quincy as he's known now), ex-boybander, seven years my senior, and my hot producer. We've shared some…illicit kisses in unguarded moments. And I can't get him out of my system. He's like a hangover. Well, not a hangover…a virus. I have to get him out of my head, so I can completely give my heart to Ryland.

But I knew that it would be hard. Tommy shadowed me almost everywhere. And we spent late hours working on my newest album. I promised myself that I would be good, but as I looked out across the vast room, I knew I was screwed. But for today, I think I would be okay. I had my buffers.

I was shooting another cover for "Solid", with Ryland, who had been spirited away by EJ when we stepped through the door. My sister Sadie and my best friends: Kat and Jamie were there with me. They would be my peanut gallery-slash-fashion police-slash-moral support. And we were all gathered by the snack table and talked while I waited for EJ or Tommy to tell me where I was going and what I was doing.

I allowed my gaze to absorb my surroundings and they immediately found Tommy. He was standing off to the side of the room and he was watching me with sexy eyes. And by sexy eyes, I mean he was staring at me like he had x-ray vision. Gulp! I excused myself from my group, licked my dry lips, and walked over to him.

"What's up, Quincy?" I asked.

"Have you seen your wardrobe for this photo shoot?" he asked.

"Uh, no." I replied, "I just got here, remember?"

"Go see EJ." He shook his head and headed back in the direction I had just come from.

I watched him as he greeted my (sleazy) manager, Darius. The pair greeted each other like two tigers about ready to attack, which wasn't a surprise. They always acted like that. With an eye roll, I went to find EJ. I found my PR/Outfitter chatting with my boyfriend. Ryland was wearing a pair of leather pants and no shirt…I knew if my mouth had been open, I would've drooled. I had seen him shirtless all the time, but he always had that affect on me.

"Hey, J." EJ greeted me was I approached, "You're gonna _love_ your outfit. It's _hot_."

I raised an eyebrow. "_Hot_?"

Ryland took my hand and brought it to his lips.

"Very boner inspiring."

I rolled my eyes. On my first tour, I was trapped on a tour bus with the boys from Spiederman. So, any kind of sexual comment like that was just white noise to me. He placed a series of kisses against my knuckles and smiled at me through a curtain of his hair. I couldn't help but smiling. He was a total sweetheart, when he wasn't sounding like a total guy. Once he dropped my hand, I turned to EJ.

"So, where is this outfit?"

EJ grinned like the Cheshire cat. Uh-oh…not good.

XX

When I stepped out onto the floor of the shoot, with Ryland at my side, two things happened. One, Tommy's mouth dropped open, forming a shocked "o". And two, everyone else cheered, whooped, or made catcalls. (Sadie, surprising, was the one who cheered. Kat whooped. And Jamie was the one catcalling.) I blushed self-consciously and glanced up at Ryland, who smiled at me. I was dressed like one of the women out of _Chicago_. Bra-like top with fishnet midriff covering over it and lacey boy-short panties was my outfit. It was finished off with a garter belt with fishnet stockings attached, and 4-inch stiletto heels.

This look screamed: Goth S-L-U-T in big, bold letters, but…I felt very…empowered. It was nice, in a very dysfunctional way. Ryland was kind of dressed like me. Well, not in the bra and panty set thing; the Goth theme. He was clad in the same leather pants but suspenders had been added, no shirt, big black boots, and a bowler hat. He looked damn fine.

Our photographer, Simon Vernatelli, started laughing the moment we walked out. Ryland and I exchanged looks and flipped him off.

"You guys look like you belong in a fucked up Moulin Rouge." He told us.

"I thought Moulin Rouge was fucked up to begin with." Ryland stated.

"True…" Simon said after a moment, then laughed again, "Okay, seriously, it's photo time."

He instructed Ryland to stand behind me and cross his right arm across my body until his fingers touched my hip. Of course, I was a bit…stressed. This shoot was a little too sexy for me. My body was tense and Ryland seemed to sense it. So, he dug his fingers into my side, causing me to squeal and laugh. Tense moment evaporated. But Simon wasn't happy.

"C'mon you two!" he chided.

"Sorry!" we amended in unison.

We changed our position: we were in a tango pose; my leg was wrapped around his waist and his hands were on my hips. One picture down, God knows how many were left to go.

XX

The grand total ended up being twenty-six. I eventually ended up having a blast. Thanks completely to my fabulous boyfriend. We raced back to the dressing room to get out of these clothes. I changed in the bathroom, while Ryland hid behind the clothes rack. Once we were sure we were both decent, we came out. He took my hand and laced his fingers with mine. I felt safe and content. I really do love him; I could be myself and know that he had no other motives except for wanting to be with me.

We walked out and met up with Kat, Jamie, Sadie, Tommy, EJ, and Darius. Darius and EJ gushed over how great we looked and how awesome the cover was going to be. Kat and Jamie laughed at me for being so shy. Even Sadie was proud of me. Yay, Sadie! She was acting more like a sister to me. I guess it's a sign we're both getting older. Tommy gave me a cold stare. Very chilly. I shivered unconsciously. Ryland wrapped his arm around my waist and drew me close to him instinctively.

Our group headed out the door and went our separate ways. Jamie and Kat, now an item again, were going off to dinner. Sadie was heading out to the mall. Even Ryland had to go. He was destined to meet up with the rest of his band "Shattered" and have a jam session for their new album. We stood outside of his Bentley, having a very passionate good-bye kiss. Which just meant, I was molded against him and tongues were involved. The sudden honk of a car horn jarred us apart.

Tommy sat inside the Viper, frowning at us. I looked up at Ryland with apologetic eyes. I gave him a quick hug and a brief kiss on the cheek before I backed away from him and went to the Viper. Once inside, as soon as I had my door shut, Tommy pealed out of the parking lot so fast that his tires squealed.

"Damn, Tommy!" I cried, "What the hell is your problem?"

"That outfit was too skimpy, Jude!" he bit out, "You're not even eighteen yet! What the fuck was EJ thinking?"

That last part just seemed to be voiced inside thoughts.

"That's not the only reason why you're pissed, Tommy." I shot back, "I know you, Quincy. You hate watching Ry and me kiss! You're jealous."

He glared at me, briefly taking his eyes off the road. "I am not, Jude."

"Yes, you are. You wish you could kiss me like that."

He said nothing, but gripped the wheel tighter. _Ha! Got you there, Quincy_. I thought with a smirk. We fell into hostile silence the rest of the way to G Major.

XX

Tommy and I worked in an angsty environment from 5:30 when we arrived at the studio, until 3:00 in the morning. Then, on the way from grabbing a cappuccino from the kitchenette, something happened. Tommy wasn't in the studio. _Where the hell is he?_ I wondered, placing down my cup and feeling pissy. I stalked through the empty halls. Everyone else had gone home. But they left the studio open for us; knowing once we were on a roll, nobody could stop us.

I walked down one of the back hallways where the old, unused studios were. It was semi-dark. The lights were very dim and I felt like I was in a horror movie. I was getting kind of scared, though I would never admit it out loud to anyone. Then, without warning, a shadow fell over me, and I was pinned against the wall. All air left my lungs in a hard exhale. I felt kind of turned on as my gaze locked with Tommy's smoldering eyes. _I'm in trouble_. I thought wildly.

"What are you doing, Tommy?" I demanded in a whisper. _Wait a minute! Why am I whispering? _I wondered.

My brain didn't have a chance to answer before Tommy's lips were on mine. He kissed me hard, his lips demanding. Before I could stop myself, I was kissing him back, just as hard and demanding. Then all rational thoughts were gone as his hands claimed my hips and pulled me against him. I was surprised that I could feel that he was…ahem…_hard_ through his jeans. Tommy pulled me into one of the empty studios and shut the door behind us.

The room was as dimly lit as the hall and I could see the mixing board, a chair, and a couch against the right wall. Tommy moved us to the couch and steered me down onto it. He was on top of me before you could say "statutory". I was shocked. What the hell had gotten into him and why the hell wasn't I pushing him away? _Because you've wanted this_. That little voice in the back of my head replied. That voice fell silent as Tommy began to kiss me again. I made a small noise as his lips continued to dominate mine.

He groaned into my mouth and my body went with it. I locked my arms around his neck and my right leg around his waist. When I felt his tongue dart across my lower lip, Ryland's face appeared in my mind, and rationality came screaming back.

"No!" I cried, releasing him and pushing him off me.

Tommy fell off the couch and landed on the floor with a painful _thunk_. I scurried off the couch and bolted to the door.

"Jude, wait!" Tommy cried, getting to his feet.

I was already out the door and hurrying down the hall.

"Jude!" he yelled, catching up with me, "Stop!"

"Why? So you can fuck me next?" I demanded, "What the hell _was _that Tommy? I'm with _Ryland_…" Tears stung my eyes as I said his name. _I betrayed him_.

"I'm sorry, Jude." He said, "I don't know what came over me."

"Yes, you do." I cried, voice breaking, "You're thinking with your dick and not your head! You hate that I am with Ryland. Well, guess what? I love him…and now you've jeopardized everything because you have no self control!"

"Hey, babe," he retorted, "I hope you realize you didn't stop me when I kissed you the first time."

"I know." The tears fell down my cheeks, "Shame on me. Now I can only hope Ryland will forgive me."

"I really am sorry, Jude." Tommy said again, grabbing my elbow.

"No, you're not." I replied, shaking him off, "I can't be with you, Tommy as you pointed out so many times, and if Ryland breaks up with me, I'm quitting. I can't stand being around you when I know at the drop of a hat, you'll be on me…then you'll hurt me again."

I turned and ran from him. I exited the building and dug my cell phone from my pocket. I hit Ryland's speed dial number (currently, number one) and put it to my ear as it rang. He picked up on the second ring.

"Hey, Red." He murmured, sounding sleepy, "What's up?"

"Can you come get me?" I asked, trying to sound normal.

"Yeah, are you still at G Major?" The sleep was gone from his voice and he sounded alert.

I guess I failed at sounding normal. "Uh-huh. Please, hurry."

"Of course. Love you."

"Love you, too." I replied before we hung up.

As I waited outside, it began to rain._ Just great_. I thought, tears still streaming down my cheeks. Ryland's Bentley appeared ten minutes later. He opened the door from the inside as I ran up. Once inside, I flung my arms around his neck and cried into his neck. His arms snaked around my waist and held me tight. After a moment, I stopped crying and parted from him. He looked at me with piercing eyes.

"Did Quincy hurt you?" he demanded.

"Not exactly." I replied shaking my head, "Let's talk at your place."

He nodded and drove out of the G Major parking lot.

XX

We arrived at his apartment fifteen minutes later. We entered the building soaked through to our skin. He unlocked his apartment door and took me inside. Ryland shut and locked the door, then turned to me with concern in his eyes.

"What happened, Jude?" he asked, touching my face gently with his palm.

"Let's sit down." I replied.

"Alright." He nodded.

We sat down on his couch and I sighed.

"When I was at the studio, I went for a coffee break and when I got back, I couldn't find Tommy…so, I went to look for him. Well…um… he found me first. He pinned me against the wall and kissed me…and I…I didn't stop him." I looked down at my hands, "Then he pulled me into one of the old studios and he was on top of me…we…kissed a few more times, before I stopped him." Tears filled my eyes and I looked up at him, "I'm…I'm…s-s-sorry."

Ryland stared at me a bit. Then blinked and sighed.

"He didn't try to fuck you, did he?" he asked.

"No."

"Good, because if he had, I'd killed him."

I furrowed my brows. "What about me? What are you gonna do with me? I let another guy kiss me and I kissed him back."

"Jude, I've been through this kind of shit before…" he replied, "And…I don't know what to say, Red."

"Are you gonna break up with me?" I asked.

"No."

"No? Why?"

"I love you. I have a great thing with you, Jude."

" I-I-I don't understand! I don't deserve you after what I did."

"No, you _do_ deserve me. What you _don't_ deserve is Quincy forcing kisses on you. I know that kissing contagious. Once you get kissed, you can't help but kiss that person back. Been there, done that."

"Really?"

He smiled and it was a sad smile. "I'm no angel, Red. I know what it's like to be in that kind of situation. Don't worry about it."

"I love you." I said.

"I love you, too." He replied, "Now let's get you out of those clothes."

"What!"

"We're getting my couch all wet. Let's get changed." He stood and offered me his hands

I placed my hands in his and he pulled me to my feet. We walked into the bedroom and Ryland went to his dresser and rummaged through the drawers. He threw me a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt.

"Thanks." I said, heading into his adjacent bathroom, and shutting the door.

I stripped out of my t-shirt, bra, panties, jeans, socks, and boots. I hung my shirt, jeans, bra, and panties over the shower curtain rod. I found a towel and dried my hair before I changed into his clothes. I was swimming in them. With a smile, I exited his bathroom and found him stretched out on his bed, clad in just a pair of gray sweat pants. My mouth went dry. My hormones were going crazy tonight. I joined him on the bed and he took me into his arms and kissed me passionately.

When we broke apart, I smiled and snuggled against him. I was one lucky girl. Any other guy would've dumped me, but Ryland understood me. I impulsively kissed him and put everything into it. He kissed me back, kissing me just as passionately. When we parted, we shared a look, and I allowed him to rolled on top of me and kiss me again.

Our kisses became longer and more drugging. I couldn't stop touching his bare skin, running my hands down his well-muscled chest but I stopped at the waistband of his sweats. When we stopped for breath, I looked into his eyes and knew that I didn't want to stop. And he felt the same way. But we were both virgins and this would change everything.

"Do you want to…" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, I think I do." I smiled slightly.

"Yes or no, Red." He said seriously, "This…this is a big step."

"I know." I replied, "I love you and I want to be _with_ you."

He smiled at me with a happy expression. "I love you, too."

He kissed me again and slid his hand up my t-shirt and up to my breast. I was comfortable with this; we had gotten this far before. Then his hand left my breast and headed back down to my waist and with a quick movement, he moved me on top of him. Ryland tugged the hem of the shirt up and pulled it over my head, leaving me exposed. Nervousness welled within me. I had never been shirtless in front of a guy before.

Ryland just smiled and looked at me with such love and lust in his eyes that I calmed down. I began to shiver in anticipation, as he rose up and kissed a lingering trail down my neck and chest before his mouth latched onto one of my breasts. I cried out in pleasure as the sensation rocked me and cradled his head against me.

As his mouth continued to lavish attention to my skin, his left hand skimmed down my abdomen, and found its way into my sweat pants. I moaned out loud when I lifted my hips and two of his fingers slipped inside of me. I was down to whimpers by the time I was at the brink of an orgasm. Ryland removed his hand from my pants and rolled me back over onto my back. He got onto his knees and removed my pants and then his. I stared at his erection and was, well, impressed. And I smiled at the fact that I had brought him to a full salute. Then he reached over to his nightstand and opened the top drawer and pulled out a condom.

I wasn't going to ask at this point why he had condoms to spare in his dresser and I didn't really care. I watched as he put it on, then was on top of me again.

"Are you 100 sure about this?" he asked, "Because we can stop now if you want."

"Shh." I replied, putting a finger over his lips, "Make love to me."

He kissed my palm and nodded. I braced myself as he entered me slowly. Ryland was gentle has he broke through my barrier and was completely inside me. He moved down and kissed me on the lips as his hips took up a slow rhythm. I kissed him back and whimpered into his mouth as he picked up speed. The pleasure built and I began to feel the brush of an orgasm.

"Ryland…" I choked out as I began to climax.

"Jude…" he moaned as my orgasm brought him to his own.

Ryland lay down on top of me, his head resting on my chest. Our bodies were slick with sweat and I shivered as the cool air touched my skin. I felt…different. But I was smiling with the afterglow and laced my hand with Ryland's. I brought his hand up to my lips and kissed it. He smiled up at me and everything felt right.

XX

After a while, we separated. I whimpered as he pulled himself out of me, aftershocks pulsing through me. Ryland got off the bed, removed the condom, walked into the bathroom and threw it away. He watched me from the doorway and smiled the smile that melted me through and through.

"What?" I asked.

"I like the way you look in my bed."

I blushed and he laughed. His gaze traveled across the bed and looked serious all of a sudden.

"What?" I asked, feeling stupid for saying 'what' so much.

"We need to clean the comforter." He replied.

I struggled into a sitting position and looked down between my legs. I had bled a little bit. The blood looked black on the dark green comforter.

"I'm sorry." I didn't know what else I could say.

He laughed; a slow masculine chuckled. "Don't be. Sex is messy. It happens."

I crawled over to the edge of the bed and got up. My legs were shaking and I felt unsteady. Ryland brought me to him and held me until the shaking stopped.

"Thanks." I said.

"No problem." He looked down at me, "We need to get cleaned up."

"I'm not taking a shower with you." I replied, "We'll never get to sleep if I do."

"Who said anything about sleep tonight?" he asked with a Cheshire grin.

"It's morning, baby." I glanced at the alarm clock that was on the nightstand, "Five-fifteen to be exact. I have school in the morning."

"Don't go." He answered, "Stay with me."

Then he actually pouted and gave me puppy dog eyes. If only the media saw the: "Big, Bad Prince of Rock" flashing puppy eyes; his reputation would've been out the window. But it made me smile.

"Alright."

"Good." He swatted me on the ass, "Go get in the shower."

I laughed and separated from him and ducked through the doorway behind him. I removed my clothes from the rod and felt that they were still wet. I laid them out on the counter and got into the shower. After I cleaned myself off, I shut off the shower and dried off. I smiled as I noticed that Ryland had laid out another t-shirt for me beside my clothes.

I pulled on the shirt and stood in the bathroom doorway and toweled off my hair as I watched him spread a new comforter on the bed. It was a plain color like the last one, but the color was black this time. Sleep wore down onto me and the bed looked so inviting to sleep on. Ryland approached me and kissed me long and lingering. When we parted, I headed to the bed and Ryland went to the shower.

I lay down on the bed and curled up under the comforter. His bed was soft and cushy; the mattress was made from goose down. I was drifting off to sleep when Ryland joined me under the covers and spooned close to me. I fell asleep with a smile on my face and relief in my soul.


	2. Cold

Disclaimer: Instant still doesn't belong to me...The lyrics to "Giving In" and "Skin"belong to Adema.

Some Like It…

Part II: Cold 

Later that morning, I had woken up, and wondered what I had just done. I stayed awake for a while, watching Ryland sleep. He looked so happy and peaceful. I liked waking up next to him and smiled as I realized that I was fine with what we had done. And for this first time, I thought about marrying him. And how wonderful our life would be like. No complications, just love and devotion forever. I kissed him on the cheek and lay back down beside him and closed my eyes.

We both woke up after eleven and shared almost shy smiles. He kissed me before he got out of bed and stretched.

"You hungry?" he asked.

"Kind of…yeah I am."

He laughed and shook his head.

"I'll make us some lunch."

"Okay."

He walked out of the room and from somewhere around the vicinity of the bed, my cell phone rang, playing "Dance, Dance" my ringtone for Kat. I looked around and found it halfway under the bed. I picked it up and answered it.

"Hey, Kat."

"Where the hell are you?" Kat's voice hissed through my cell phone, giving me the impression she was hiding somewhere in the school, using her phone.

"Ryland's." I answered.

"You…stayed at Ryland's all night?"

"Morning technically." I replied, "He picked me up from G Major around…4:00 this morning."

"Why didn't you go home?" she demanded.

I sighed. "Things got out of hand with Tommy and I needed Ryland."

"What do you mean things got out of hand?" her voice was gentle all of a sudden.

"He kissed me and I kissed him back…then he got on top of me…and I stopped him and ran from him."

"What the fuck is his problem?" Kat yelled, her usually calm disposition out the window, "I'm gonna kick his skinny white ass!"

I laughed. "Go for it."

"How did Ryland take it?"

"He was understanding. He told me he had been in that situation before…and that he still loves me." I sighed happily.

"What did you do?" Kat asked suddenly.

"What do you mean 'what did you do'?" I demanded.

"You have the tone of someone in bliss…" she replied, "Did something happen?"

"We…uh…had…um…sex."

"Sorry, run that by me again."

"We had sex."

"Whoo!" Kat whooped loudly in my ear, then she laughed, "You banged Ryland! Oh my God, I can't believe it!"

"Shut up." I replied, rolling my eyes.

She was still laughing. "Did you practice safe sex?"

"No duh."

"So, how was it?"

"Nice."

"Just nice?"

"It was good, earth shattering, uh…awesome." I said, "What else can I say?"

"Nothing. I don't want all the smutty details." Then she paused, "Well, I actually do, tell me everything later."

It was my turn to laugh. "If you really want to know…and if Jamie asks…tell him I'm sick or something."

"Will do."

"Talk to ya later."

"Yup. Bye."

I hung up my cell phone and tossed it down beside me. Ryland reappeared a few minutes later, carrying a tray that had a plate, silverware, a glass of orange juice, and a napkin balancing on it.

"Ta-da." He grinned, putting it on my lap.

The food smelt delicious. I smiled when I saw it was an omelet, hash browns, and some bacon. Let it up to Ryland to fix us breakfast for lunch. But, Mmm, I couldn't wait to eat it! My stomach growled and Ryland laughed.

"Don't just stare at it, enjoy it!"

I laughed and dug in. Ryland left the room and came back with a tray of his own. We ate in companionable silence. I sipped my juice and watched Ryland, then snickered into my glass when I saw he was watching me.

"What?" we asked each other in unison.

We laughed. Ryland was the first to answer.

"I wish we could stay like this forever."

"Me too." I confessed.

"I think we should talk." Ryland said after a beat.

"About what? We've already shared our thoughts on sex."

He grinned. "About our future."

I felt anxious all of a sudden. Had he changed his mind about loving me, now that we had sex? A million doubts and fear flashed through my head before I voiced:

"What about it?"

"Iwanttomarryyou." He said in a rush.

My heart leap in my chest. Eee! He still loved me! And he wanted to…marry…me! Oh, my, god. This is the best day of my life! But I still had to make sure I heard him right. He could've said: "I want to bury you." Highly doubtful that he would ever say that, but a girl's got to know.

"You want to…" I started.

"Marry you, Jude Harrison." Ryland finished with a soft smile.

"Oh, Ryland…" I leaned over and kissed him, "I would love to marry you." I finished when we parted.

He smiled a pure, happy smile and kissed me again. When we broke apart, we resumed eating.

"I'm glad I got that out." Ryland said.

"Me too."

XX

After lunch, we decided that we had to go back to G Major and face Tommy. Clearing the air would be the best thing for all of us to do. Ryland and I showered (separately, at my request) and got dressed. My boyfriend held my hand as we left the apartment and made our way downstairs to his Bentley. My heart began to pound in nervousness as we left the parking lot and drove in the direction of the studio. What if everything blew up in our faces? I had become such a worrier! But all those thoughts we silenced by Ryland, giving my hand a light squeeze and smiling at me. I knew everything would be okay, whatever the outcome. I would be with him.

Inside G Major, we were surprised to find Tommy behind the glass. He was actually recording. Kwest sat at the soundboard and didn't even turn around when we came in.

"I don't know what happened here last night," he said, still not turning around, "but Tommy's been working like a fiend. He has three songs all ready to record. He hasn't been this motivated since he worked on _Frozen_."

The 44-second music intro was over and Tommy began to sing.

Will you walk me

To the edge again

Shaking, lonely

And I am drinking again

Woke up tonight

And no one's here with me

I'm giving in to you…

Take me under

I'm giving in to you

I'm dying tonight

I'm giving in to you

Watch me crumble

I'm giving in to you

I'm crying tonight

I'm giving in to you

Caught up in lies

Losing all my friends

Family has tried

To heal all my addictions

Tragic it seems

To be alone again

I'm giving in to you…

Take me under

I'm giving in to you

I'm dying tonight

I'm giving in to you

Watch me crumble

I'm giving in to you

I'm crying tonight

I'm giving in to you…

I stared at Tommy through the glass. Drinking? Addictions? What hasn't he been telling me? There was something dark lurking under his skin and I was worried about him.

"Tommy." Kwest said through the microphone when the song was done, "You have visitors."

Tommy removed his headphones and joined us behind the glass.

"We need to talk." He declared as his gaze settled on Ryland and me.

"Agreed." Ryland replied with a nod.

We all exited the room and went into studio C. Once inside, Tommy started almost immediately.

"First, I need to apologize to you, Jude." He said, "I was drunk last night…and when I drink, I act more than I think."

"You were drunk!" I cried, "I've been around you drunk before! How come I couldn't tell!"

"This… has been an… issue with me for a while…I've learned to hide it well."

I frowned at him. "Too well."

"And for taking advantage of you, I am truly sorry. I never like to hurt you." He laughed bitterly, "But I seem to be very good at it."

I couldn't help myself; he was just so pitiful that I had to hug him. Tommy let me hug him, and then gave me a little squeeze before releasing me. He turned to Ryland.

"And Ryland. I'm sorry if I caused any trouble between you and Jude. I didn't mean to."

"Apology accepted. And everything between Jude and me is fine. In fact, you kind have solidified things."

Tommy raised an eyebrow. "Solidified things?"

"We're talking about getting married." I answered. I couldn't bring myself to tell Tommy that I had lost my virginity with Ryland.

"Jude, you're seventeen." He replied.

"Not now, but in the future." Ryland supplied.

"Well, congratulations." Tommy said, "I hope everything will be okay between us all."

"Consider it forgotten." Ryland extended his hand to Tommy.

Tommy smiled and shook it.

"Thanks."

XX

A week later, everything went back to normal. Well, as normal as normal for me can get. I stayed at Ryland's a lot and talked about marriage more. Then a few weeks before Christmas, he asked me to marry him and I said yes. We decided on a date in June; after we both turned 18 and after I graduated. And he gave me a beautiful engagement ring; the band was silver and had diamonds all the way around. The diamond was 4 carats and I couldn't complain.

When I broke the news to the crew at G Major, they were all happy for me. Well, I wasn't so sure about Tommy. He acted happy, but I knew that he really wasn't. Afterwards, he walked back into the studio and began recording another song, like I hadn't said a thing.

Months flew by and my mom, Sadie, Kat, and I were getting things set for my wedding. We had the guest list ready, the invitations ordered, the church booked, and Kat was hard at work, making my wedding dress. One day when Ryland was out doing things with his band and everyone else was busy. Tommy and I decided to go to the movies. We hadn't been talking as much as we used to and it made me sad. So, when he suggested seeing something, I jumped at the chance.

We saw _Rent_ at his insistence. He claimed to know Taye Diggs and wanted to support his work. I think he just wanted to see Rosario Dawson dance around half naked. We chose a spot in the top back corner and sat down. The opening with everyone on stage was a little boring, but the moment they began to sing "Rent" I was hooked! I didn't expect it to sound so rock. Then, being a typical girl, the love stories drew me in. When Collins and Angel began to sing about becoming lovers, my heart melted. When Mimi and Roger sang about telling each other their secrets, my heart broke.

"I should tell you, I should tell you." They sang and I felt a pang.

It reminded me of Tommy, and our ever-so-complicated relationship. I glanced over at him and caught him glancing at me. We laughed quietly and went back to eating popcorn. At the end of the movie, I walked out of the theater singing: "Out tonight" while Tommy laughed and started singing the song that Roger sang immediately after about her interrupting him with his guitar. When we stepped into the parking lot, we danced a little bit while still singing.

But we stopped singing after we looked into each other's faces. Then, we stopped dancing and ending up hugging.

"Don't marry him." He whispered in my ear.

"I have to. I love him." I whispered back.

"Don't you love me?" he asked.

"You know that a part of me does, Tommy. And how about you? Do you love me?"

"Of course I do." His eyes began to shimmer with tears.

I felt like I just killed a part of myself. I continued to hold him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"It's a shame that you told me too late." I informed him, "Things could've been different…but you made me move on."

"I know." He replied, "And for that, I'll never forgive myself."

XX

Four Months Later 

I stood at the alter, having just exchanged vows with Ryland. The church was full with family and friends that applauded when he raised my veil and kissed me, just after being declared husband and wife. When we parted, we smiled and took each other's hands, and headed up the alter out the church doors. After pictures were taken, we got into the limo with the bridal party (my maid of honor, Kat, and my bridesmaids: Sadie, EJ, Georgia, and my cousin Rachel; his best man: Jake, Shattered's lead guitarist, and his groomsmen were Jamie and the remaining members of Shattered). Ryland and I couldn't stop kissing and laughing. I was so happy that I felt like I could burst, really.

Twenty minutes later, we arrived at the reception hall, Sadie and Rachel were already slightly buzzed, but I didn't care. I was married! When we walked in, the room was so beautifully decorated that it took my breath away. We ate dinner and speeches were made. Ryland and I had our first dance to our song: _Everything_ by Lifehouse. After we were done, the dance floor filled up with the other couples as _Dance, Dance_ by Fallout Boy began to play.

I danced for an hour, then my legs went numb, and I took a break. Kat and I talked as we watched everyone dance.

"Y'know, I didn't see Tommy in the church." She said.

_Thank you, Katrina_. "I'm not sure if he's going to show."

"That's a shame."

"Shut up, Kat."

"I know you at least want to see him one last time before you leave G Major."

I had almost forgotten that I was taking a break from music. I wanted some time to be married and pursue other things. I already had a deal in the makings about starring in a suspense/thriller movie with Ryland. Oddly enough, that movie had almost an all rock-star cast. With a sigh, I downed a glass of champagne. Then I heard Kat squeal and she grabbed my arm, her grip surprising strong through my arm-length white glove.

"He's here!"

I searched the crowd and saw Tommy at its edge. He was all dressed up but he wasn't smiling. I stood up and went to him as the song: _3 Libras_ by A Perfect Circle started.

"Hey." I greeted him.

"Hi."

There was a slight pause before he spoke up again.

"Do you want to dance?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice to work. He took me into his arms and we began to dance.

"I didn't think you were going to come." I whispered.

"I…couldn't watch the ceremony." He revealed.

"I understand." I laid my head on his shoulder and willed myself not to cry.

"You look so beautiful, Jude." Tommy told me.

"Thank you. You clean up very nice as well."

He nodded with tight eyes.

"I have something for you."

"What is it?" I asked.

We stopped dancing as the song ended. He opened his suit jacket and removed a CD case from his pocket. Tommy handed it to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Listen to it when you get the chance." He instructed.

"I will."

"Bye, Jude." He said softly.

_Damn it._ Tears filled my eyes. _I will not cry._

"Bye, Tommy."

We hugged again and kissed each other's cheeks. Then he disappeared into the crowd. I looked down at the CD in my gloved hand and sighed. _I will not cry._ I felt a presence behind me and I knew without turning around that it was Ryland. He wrapped his arms around me from behind me and held me tight. I turned in his arms and put my arms around his neck. I sighed into the skin of his neck and calmed down.

I smiled at his when I straightened out and kissed him on the lips. He made me happy again. He always did.

"I love you, Ry." I said.

"I love you, too, my darling." He replied seriously.

I sighed in contentment and enjoyed the feeling of his body against mine. I felt like I was home.

XX

After the reception, Ryland and I went on our honeymoon in Hawaii. We spent a few hours making love, and then fell asleep sometime around 5:00 am. I awoke not too long later and slipped out of bed. I dug through my luggage and found the CD Tommy had given me and my CD player. I put the CD inside and pressed play. I heard Tommy's voice through the earphone and smiled sadly.

"Hey, Jude." He said, "I wrote this song for you, and um, here it goes:"

The CD went to track two and music began to play. Then his voice was began to sing.

Days will come that make no sense

My present situation makes me think too much

Too much

It all revolves around you

This life that I'm living means nothing without you

I'd shed my skin for you

(I'd shed my skin for you)

What would you want me to do?

(What would you want me to do)?

I will always love you

But I can't live like this

This problem here is my fault

It's not that I don't care

But I'm so lost

I'd shed my skin for you

(I'd shed my skin for you)

What would you want me to do?

(What would you want me to do)?

I will always love you

But I can't live like this

Why

Now you (rip me apart) see why

(Now you see why)

Don't fuck with feelings inside

Who you lying to?

Will I survive?

I like what you put me through

'Cuz I feel almost alive

(Almost alive)

I'd shed my skin for you

(I'd shed my skin for you)

What would you want me to do?

(What would you want me to do)?

I will always love you

But I can't live like this

By the end of the song, I was almost in tears. The CD went to track 3 and Tommy's voice came on again.

"That was called _Skin_. Have a wonderful life with Michaels…I'll always love you, Jude."

The End

12


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